sllɐqǝʎǝʎzznɟ

A crazy attempt to do self-portraits. A foolish idea to make a fool out of myself. Killing time when I was in Malaysia last weekend, I decided to mess around with my Lubitel (for the first time) but only to realise that I forgot to bring some 120 slides (for xpro). So I had to ‘survive’ on a roll of long expired Agfa Optima & also a Superia 100 film. Used the Optima for these ermm … self *cough & puke blood* portraits but the colors were horrible. Not sure if it was because of the color of the wall that I took the first exposure of … or was it the film. I was sure the Optima performs very nicely when I tried using it outdoors though. This means that there can only be one reason the colors were horrible … the inclusion of my face. Dammit!!! I ended up scanning these in monochrome.

It took me hell lot of courage to take self portraits, so even if these photos give you nightmares of make you puke … please forgive me. I tried my best to let that flaky wall texture cover my face but it somehow revealed way too much of my fat face. Eeeks.

I might only scan the roll of Superia tomorrow. Don’t worry … it contains no self-portraits. After using the Lubitel, I am begining to get back the ‘kick’ outta using TLRs.

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that’s real

The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end

And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liars chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair

Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end

And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

from the song ‘Hurt’ by Johnny Cash